Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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