I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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