I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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