Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
