It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
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It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
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Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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