do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
