Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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