Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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