She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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