Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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