the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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