just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
