He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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