You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
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It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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