Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
