I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
