Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
