you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
false alarm, still single
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
