Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
