he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
