pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
