Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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