There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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