you turned your livingroom into a bong?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
