Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
