forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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