we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't think brook has ever known best
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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