She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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