My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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