If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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