he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
