i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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