when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
