hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
