I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
