omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
