at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
