Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
