I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
