I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
