The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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