Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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