"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
