I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
