I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
