I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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