I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
