just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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