the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
