I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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