A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
