its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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