I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
