I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
