May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
