Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize