Kiss
Puke
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
