Duck Duck Cougar?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
