oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
