you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
