I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
