I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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