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your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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