we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
