They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
