Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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