Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
