Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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