Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
